Sex is supposed to be all about having fun, but the concept of “fun” is open to interpretation. For some, making love consists of gentle, passionate strokes of pleasure from an equal partner. For those who enjoy BDSM, however, good sex requires a bit more intensity than that.
What Is BDSM?
BDSM is a somewhat new acronym that stands for “Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism,” having only been invented back in the 90’s. This now relatively common practice involves using a variety of erotic tools and techniques to stimulate pleasure as it relates to the participant’s interpersonal dynamics and desires. Given the extremely wide range of methods used, though, some people don’t even know they’re engaged in BDSM until they read something like this.
For instance, did you know that putting a blindfold on your partner to elevate anticipation is a form of BDSM? It neither causes pain nor intimidates, but it’s still considered a type of bondage and dominance. BDSM can include anything that involves a shift in the atmosphere, so long as it eventually produces sexual climax for one or both of the participants. In fact, BDSM games are so intense and enriching that they’re often performed in large groups or as part of an orgasmic ritual.
What Is a BDSM Sex Toy?
Put simply, a BDSM sex toy can be almost anything you can think of that creates the sort of ambience or experience you require. Because the bondage community has become an increasingly well-known subculture, their practices have spilled over into the mainstream. As a result, the lines between actual BDSM sex toys and traditional sex toys has been blurred quite a bit.
In general, however, BDSM sex toys are just the pleasure and/or pain producing products that support or inspire safe and satisfying bondage, dominance, sadism or masochism gameplay. It can be anything from a pair of handcuffs to a full-blown spiked flogger. The best thing about BDSM is that it’s almost 100% customizable to both the sub and the dom, plus it produces some of the most intense orgasms known to man if it’s done right.
What Are the Most Popular BDSM Sex Toys?
Although the BDSM community didn’t have an actual title until just a few decades ago, their ability to invent and accumulate a mass of specialized sex toys has been impressive to say the least. Today’s sex toy industry is now filled with options, so the average consumer suddenly has everything he or she needs to induce some serious pussy control with a manmade object. We’ve come a long way since the days of dildos only being available through prescription.
On any given day, Joe Shmoe can hop online and find thousands of sex toys made specifically for BDSM. So, how does he tell them apart? He separates them into categories and then tackles the subcategories later, that’s how. Here are the 5 most popular types of BDSM sex toys available (for now):
Robust BDSM will always require some good hand, ankle and/or body restraints. These can take the form of things like handcuffs, ropes, ties and handkerchiefs. In extremely fun cases, restraints include sex swings and slings as well. Many of today’s top sex toy manufacturers make BDSM restraints, but you can always use something from around the house in a pinch.
- Pain and Pleasure Deliverers
Expert BDSM sometimes involves giving and/or receiving pain. It often involves pleasure too, with many people experiencing the latter directly from the former. But whatever the participants do, they’ll need things like whips, paddles, floggers and ticklers to get that done. And while many of those products can be substituted for common household objects, proper BDSM gameplay always requires specialized equipment.
BDSM enthusiasts understand the value of humiliating their sub. The intense emotional response often leads to an extreme, whole-body orgasm. But none of that is possible without the right items in your bondage arsenal. Sex toys such as ball gags and gas masks are frequently used. However, the tools required for a good humiliation session are quite subjective and therefore difficult to define.
- Control Contraptions
Adequately controlling your submissive is one of the dominant’s main missions in BDSM. And while some restraints and humiliators may do the trick, there’s nothing quite like strapping on a sex toy made specifically for genital and ejaculatory control. Products like nipple clamps, pussy clamps, pussy pumps, certain male sex toys and cock cages are of the more popular chastity devices in the bondage community. Still, anything that prevents your sub from acting on impulse is a good thing.
No BDSM session is complete without the proper amount of sex toy accessories. Fortunately, many of the accessories used in bondage are also used in traditional sex practices. Items such as personal lubrication, toy clean, material preserving solutions and spare batteries are the norm no matter where you go or how you have sex. On the other hand, good BDSM may also require special accessories for things like temperature play, ASTM and stretching.
How Do I Know Which BDSM Sex Toys to Use?
Because there are so many different categories of BDSM sex toys, and because each category has dozens of subcategories, it’s often difficult for the average shopper to find what they’re looking for on their first attempt. Here are # things you can think about to save yourself some time and money:
- Your Intentions
It’s virtually impossible to locate the perfect BDSM sex toy if you don’t know what you want to accomplish. Talk to your dom/sub before purchasing anything to make sure everyone is on the same page. If you want it to be a surprise, just make sure the device you’re considering does what you need it to do.
- Your Limitations
BDSM may be extremely freeing, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any limitations to factor in. Think about you/your partner’s skin type and inquire about any sensitivities and/or allergies. Consider any mobility issues as well. Meanwhile, make sure the equipment you purchase can be used in the location you need it to be. For example, some sex swings need to be suspended from a doorway, but not all homes can accommodate.
- Your Budget
Getting into BDSM can be kind of expensive, especially if you waste money on products you don’t use. Make a budget for each toy you want to buy, just make sure it stays somewhat flexible. Always add in some space for lube and toy cleaning supplies if you’re wanting to avoid an embarrassing situation. And as always, look for special discounts and coupon codes by purchasing your items through reputable dealers.